Fall Update

Happy Fall!!!!!!

I am very, very behind in blogging.  My first excuse is that we only have one computer(Chad’s laptop) and he took it with him to Virginia/DC area when he went out there for two weeks.  My second excuse is that I worked and then he worked all of last week and he took the computer to work with him.  Someday, I dream, that I will have a computer, or we will have a computer in our home.  For the past 4-5 years whatever job I have been working has provided me with a computer, so it has not been a issue.  Not anymore!  Oh Well!!!!

On to updating!!!

Carter went to his mom for the first week of his two week fall break.  (His school district has 9 week quarters with a two week break in between each, so he has two weeks off in the fall, Christmas and spring.)  Since Chad had time off, and his grandparents are aging nicely we decided it would be a good chance for his to go out and spend some time with them, help out around their place and take a vacation.  The second week, Chad drove down to North Carolina, picked up Carter, ate at Bo Jangles and headed back to Virginia.  They then spent the next week experiencing D.C.  They had a great time and got to experience so much.

I was at home during this two week period.  When we originally began planning this trip, all three of us were going to go out for the second week.  But a change in jobs and life brought a change to our plans.  Because I needed to work and am to new to have any time off I stayed and worked.  This was the longest I have been alone or home by myself since we got married.  I am usually the one taking the trips and traveling, so it was very strange for me.  However, I really enjoyed it!  I enjoyed having craft time, going to a Partylite candle party and a Pampered Chef party, and just generally doing whatever I felt like and eating what I wanted!!!  It was refreshing for all of us, but it was very nice to have my family home too!

During the second week that the boys were gone I got a phone call from a friend of ours.  She works with Young Life in their young mothers group.  She was at group when she overheard a girl (Chelsea) talking to some other girls about adoption options.  Jenn contemplated whether she should interrupt this conversation or not.  She wavered and finally decided that she should.  She went and talked to Chelsea and told her that she knew a family that was looking to adopt, told her about our family and about Aubrey and told her she would talk to me if Chelsea was interested.  

Chelsea agreed that she would like to talk to me and meet with me.  Jenn told me what she knew about the situation and gave me Chelsea’s number.  It was after 9pm so I figured I would call her the next day.  

The next morning about 10 am I got a text message forwarded from Chelsea to Jenn to Me.  It said that Chelsea would really like to talk to me and she was ready for me to call her. 

So, I called Chelsea, we talked for a while and set up a lunch date at a park near her house for that same day.

Chelsea is a 19 year old sweet heart that (at the time) was 15 weeks pregnant with her second baby.  Due date is April 10.  She has a daughter, Lilly, who is 2 almost 3 years old (December 29).  Both of her children are from the same father, Travis.  They have been together off and on for the past 4 years.  Chelsea lives with her mother and sister and Travis lives with his mother.  They both come from broken homes with many broken relationships.  Neither of them have graduated from high school.  Travis has a job and his driver license, Chelsea has not gotten her driver’s license and is working towards getting day care assistance so that she can get a job.  She has to file for child support from Travis in order to apply for day care assistance.  Up to this point Travis has not been financially responsibly for Lilly at all.  He visits her a few times a week and his mom has started helping out by having Lilly spend the night at her house 2 times so far.  

Chelsea is very torn and has not made a decision yet about whether she will raise the baby or have us adopt the baby.  She plans to make her decision at the latest by January.  She has a few significant factors that she is considering.  

1. Financially supporting herself and two kids.  She would like to not have to rely completely on her mother.
2. She has a strained relationship with her mother and feels that it will pass on to her and she will not be able to love 2 children at the same time.
3. She has struggled with raising Lilly and is not sure that she wants to have that much weight to carry with a second child.

Chelsea’s mom would like her to raise the baby, Travis would like her to raise the baby but is understanding and will support whatever decision she chooses to make.  Chelsea’s grandparents are very supportive of her adopting, Travis’s mom is supportive of whichever decision Chelsea chooses to make.

Chelsea and I have spent a lot of time talking, I have answered every question that she can think of and she has had a chance to hang around our house as well.  She has thought out everything that either her or I can think of that may come up.

She would like an open adoption if that is what she chooses, but as we discussed there is no way to know how she will feel as far as how involved she will want to be after the baby is born.

She has been constantly struggling with connecting this baby.  She thought that after she saw the first ultrasound and heard the heartbeat she might be excited, then she thought maybe if she knew the sex and felt the baby kick.  Up until now she has still felt very little to no connection.  I believe that part of this is her own protective instinct because she is battling with whether she will raise this baby or allow us to adopt and raise this baby.

She had an ultrasound on Friday and the baby had his/her little legs crossed.  The tech said they could not see any “parts” but they suspect it is a boy.  How does that work????

She had to have an amniocentesis done because of an abnormal test result, so the definitive chromosomal test will reveal the sex of the baby by Tuesday of this week!

Regardless of what Chelsea does decide to do with this baby, we have made a new friend that has reached out to our family!

We have told her that we will walk through this with her, no matter what her decision.  

Chelsea and Lilly came over and carved pumpkins with us that we had gotten from the pumpkin patch!

Carter, Lilly and Chelsea

All in all, this whole encounter and relationship with all of the details is an amazing miracle for all involved.

My pumpkin design with leaves.

Please keep both our family and Chelsea and her family in your prayers.